


A Comedy of Errors

by SteeleSimz



Category: Frasier - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Spoilers for all seasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-09-18 22:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20320186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteeleSimz/pseuds/SteeleSimz
Summary: Roz comes to visit Frasier in Chicago but they wind up in the country at the whim of a backroads sheriff. The trip turns into a nightmare while tensions flare between Frasier and Roz who may not deny their feelings for much longer.





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, or anything related.

A/N: This story is written by myself and Nerwen-Aldarion, who I owe a big thanks to for all the help with this story. Spoilers for all season and takes place in present time.

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A Comedy of Errors

Roz knocked on the door softly, wondering silently if she should even be here but she needed to talk to someone, get advice about what had happened and this was the only place she trusted. The door opened to revel a lanky teenager.

"Hey David, can I come in?"

"Sure," David told her as he held the door opened and shut it softly behind her. "Mom, Aunt Roz is here." he yelled towards the kitchen before walking back towards his room and closing the door. Apparently that was enough talking for the teenager.

"Roz, what are you doing here?" Daphne asked as she came out of the kitchen "Did we have plans?"

"No, actually I was hoping to talk to Niles," Roz replied as she placed her stuff down. "Is he around, it's kinda important."

"He's in the study," Daphne replied as they walked towards the study just as Niles came out of the room in question.

"Oh, it's you," Niles said as he noticed Roz.

"I need your help," she told him.

"I'm not lying to anymore of your lovers or whatever flavor of week."

Ignoring the dig about her love life she pulled him aside "it's about Frasier."

Niles didn't seem any more interested in this bit of news but he still asked, "What about him?"

"You know I had a business trip to Chicago and I would drop in and say hello," she reminded him.

"Yes, and? Did you already sleep through the entire male population of the Windy City?"

"Niles," Daphne admonished him. "She didn't go there to sleep with anyone." She said in defense of her friend.

"Well…"Roz admitted, "I did think about it on the plane. There was this guy sitting next to me…"

"Stop! Twenty plus years of your attempted conquests is more than enough," Niles cut her off.

"Listen buster! I put up with your opera, French food and everything in between so shut up!"

"If you two are done, can you finish what you needed to say," Daphne asked, breaking up what was sure to be another long winded argument between Niles and Roz.

"Yes you are right, Daphne," Niles replied calmly, "Please, Roz, continue so that I can give you free advice on what not to do in the future and you can ignore it as usual."

Roz gave Niles another annoyed look but decided to tactfully continue her story. "Well, Frasier and I had a nice dinner together, a few drinks and just caught up on everything," she began to explain to him.

He was already fed up with this conversation and cut her off. "Roz, I've talked to Frasier and he's fine so whatever you are worried about can wait for another day."

"Niles, this is important."

"Give her a few minutes Niles, it's not like she slept with him," Daphne informed her husband, Roz turned her head away from them.

"Oh, for the love of god," Niles said as he looked at her. "Again, really?"

"It's not what you think."

"So you didn't sleep with him?"

"No, we slept together but it's not what you think," she told him as he rubbed his face in frustration.

"I'm going to regret this," Niles said, still rubbing his eyes, "but what happened?"

"Well, everything started off innocent."

"Isn't this how you start all your relationship stories?"

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Two weeks prior.

Fraiser despised O'Hare airport, the traffic alone getting to the short term parking was god awful and the prices for parking were outrageous for just picking up someone. Yes, he could have drove around the terminal area waiting but he hadn't seen her in person in ages so for this one time he was okay parking. Parking in the first available spot he came upon, he turned off his car and checked his phone. The flight had been delayed and had just landed by the time he got to the parking lot area so he had more than enough time to get to baggage claim.

People all around him were hugging, either welcoming home loved ones or bidding them farewell before their trip. He hadn't been the airport since Fredrick had come to visit a few months prior. He had taken some time off from his programming job that he currently had, cracking his neck at the thought of all the money he spent putting him through school only to have his son become a programmer for video games. Shaking his thoughts away from his son he scanned the baggage claim area for the person he was there to greet.

They last time they had spoken in person was at his father's funeral. They talked once a week on the phone and sent emails out a few times a week when he wasn't having issues with figuring out his iPad that Fredrick had given him for Christmas a few years ago. More people filtered through the area and then his eyes locked on her, he waved his hand to get her attention and smiled. Moving through the crowd he stopped when they came close enough, without a hello he wrapped his arms around her. A sigh escaped his lips as he tighten his grip and whispered quietly, "I've missed you, Roz."

"How was your flight?" Fraiser asked as he pulled back but didn't let her go.

"Disastrous," Roz padded his upper arm with her hand. "The flight was late, as you know. The flight attendant spilled the water I request on me and they ran out of my liquor within an hour into the flight!"

Fraiser laughed and looped his arm around her waist as he steered her over to the baggage claim. "All I need to top it off is for them to have lost my luggage."

"Well then, we shouldn't be kept in suspense. And afterwards I can get you a drink," he smiled to her as they waited for the luggage to start coming down.

"After that flight I'm going to need more than one drink, Fras," she looked up at him, then grabbed the lapels of his jacket with both her hands. "It's been way too long since we've seen each other in person."

"There's my luggage," she pointed to a silver suitcase coming down the converter belt. Frasier only nodded and waited for it to come closer. "Fraiser, I should warn you it's heavy."

"I got it," he said as he'd lifted it and then grunted as he pulled it off the belt. "What do you have in here Roz?"

"Just the necessities," she replied as he gave her a look of doubt and reach to pull the handle up.

"The handle is broken," she told him quickly with an apologetic smile as he shrug his shoulders. "It broke on my last trip and I haven't been able to get out and get a new one."

"You could have ordered it online," he suggested.

"Didn't have time, I just got back two weeks ago and Alice was in town for a visit," she told him as they made their way out of the busy airport.

"How is she?"

"Typical collage student. Comes home to have her laundry done and get food but hasn't talked to me except for a few words."

"What was she majoring in again?"

"I don't know! She changed her major again to…hell I don't even know what it is. She said she is trying to find herself, sound familiar?"

"Like mother like daughter," he replied with a smile as they crossed the busy street towards the parking garage area.

"At least Freddie majored in something," she reminded him as they reached his car.

"Yes, he programs video games. Eight years at Harvard with the best professors and he decides to program sports video games," he unlocked the car as Roz laughed.

"It could have been worse." She told him as she put her seatbelt on. Frasier looked at her waiting for her to continuing.

"He could be living with you and have no job," she pointed out with a smirk.

"As long as he doesn't have a dog then I'm fine with it," he told her as he started the car, opera music filled the car as he started to back out.

"So where are we going for drinks?"

"Boire," he said as he came to a stop at the booth. "A nice little French café that serves these cute little…eight dollars for parking!"

"Frasier," Roz warned him softly as she remember Niles telling her about the parking fee incident.

"We were here less than thirty minutes! How can they charge eight dollars!" He was going off on his rant, Roz reached into her purse and pulled out her credit card, unlocked her seat belt and reached across Frasier to place the card into the machine. Frasier stopped his rant as he noticed how close Roz was to him, her hand resting very closely to his groin. She finally pulled her card out of the machine and sat back down in her seat.

"Go," she told him as she waved for him to move the car forward. She placed her seat belt back on as Frasier pulled out of the parking garage. "You owe me ten dollars."

"Parking was only eight!"

"Consider it a wimp fee," she smiled at him, their usual banter continued as he drove away from the airport.

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still have no rights to the show or characters.

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"Here we are," Frasier said as he pulled up to the valet parking. He turned off the car and stepped out as the valet attendant opened the car door for Roz, who met Frasier over at his side of the door. Frasier handed his keys over and then led Roz toward the front door.

"The best drinks in town are served here," he told her as he opened the door. The Maitre'd greeted them with a smile and handshake before leading them to what he called Frasier's table.

"Come here often?" Roz teased him as they sat down.

"They have good sherry," he responded nonchalantly as he signaled to the waitress. She took their drink orders with a flirty smiled directed toward Fraiser.

"Yeah, I'm sure sherry is the reason you come here," Roz told him as the waitress left them alone.

"What?"

"How long have you been flirting with her?"

"I was not flirting with her!"

"Frasier, she's less than half your age," Roz smirked at him.

"Oh, like you are one to talk! What age was your last boyfriend? Twenty-nine, was it?"

"He was thirty-five and at least I was seeing someone."

"I've been on dates, several in fact. I've had a very busy dating life."

"Uh huh," Roz replied unconvinced. "I'm willing to bet your BMW that you haven't left the house in weeks and your biggest dates have been with your opera friends."

"Ha! They were not my opera friends,"

"Wine club then."

"Don't be ridiculous," Frasier said but he looked pretty uncomfortable before admitting, "we don't eat at wine club anyway." He sighed and shook his head. "You're right, I've been in a rut lately. Actually, it's a bit more than a rut. More like an extended period of loneliness."

Roz looked at him with real sympathy, "We've all been there, I'm there too actually. I mean I've been on a couple of dates, each one worse than the last."

"Well, at the very least we can commiserate in our misery together," Frasier said with a deprecating smile.

"I'll drink to that." Roz looked over and saw the waitress coming back, "Speaking of our drinks."

The pretty young waitress walked back to their table with their drinks balanced expertly on a round tray. She placed them down in front of them before smiling at them both. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"No, we are quite all right," Frasier replied, giving her a polite nod before she left them to their drinks.

Roz looked down at her small drink and gave Frasier an annoyed look. "I ordered a drink, not a shot."

"It's meant to be sipped and savored," Frasier explained pretentiously.

"Sipped is right, one sip and it will be gone."

Frasier rolled his eyes, "Just savor it and then we can go."

"All right," Roz said, reaching for her purse, "but I should really call my hotel first to check on my room."

"You don't need to do that," Frasier replied, "I already canceled it for you."

"What? Why would you do that, Frasier?"

"Because, there is absolutely no reason why you should be staying in a lonely old hotel room when I have a fantastic guestroom in my apartment," Frasier told her.

"Really? You want me to stay with you?"

"Of course, I've been looking forward to it if I were perfectly honest," Frasier explained, "after dad died, I realized I missed having someone around my apartment. It'll be nice having someone around even if it is for just a short time."

Roz smiled then, genuinely touched. "Well then, I'm happy to stay with you, Frasier."

"It's settled then," Frasier said, "Once you finish your drink I'll take you back to my place."

Roz grabbed her tiny glass and drained it with ease. "Done, let's go."

Frasier looked askance at the treatment of her drink. "Do you know how old that liquor was? And you just treated it like a watered-down tequila shot."

"Yeah, yeah, you can whine about this some more in the car. I want to shower so let's go!"

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"And here we go," Frasier opened the door to his place. "Has a speculator view of the city and the perks of living here are amazing. There is a gym, sauna, and a coffee place that serves the best coffee."

"Your last place had a better view of Wrigley field," Roz replied with humor as she took in the view.

"Ah, yes I was so sad to give that view up," Fraiser rolled his eyes as he took her coat. "Make yourself at home."

"Just point me toward the shower."

"There is one in the guest room, but my shower has the best spray. I had to custom order it, but it is heavenly bliss," he told her as he led her to the master bathroom. "Feel free to take as long as you need."

"Thanks Frasier,"

"Oh, and there is a lovely scented moister cream that I just got last week. It is Tahitian Lavender which is just the perfect combination after your long flight," he informed her before closing the door.

"Tahitian Lavender? Really Fraiser?" Roz picked up the container and twisted the top off she took a whiff of the cream. "God, that smells good."

Roz opened her suitcase and took out some lounge pants and an old college shirt. She stripped out of her clothes and turned on the shower, when a knock came on the bathroom door.

"Roz?" Frasier's voice filtered through.

"Hold on a second," she grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it around herself before going to open the door.

"I thought you might-," Fraiser started to speak as she opened the door. He stopped and looked her over.

"Frasier?"

"Sorry, I thought you might want this nice robe for after your shower," he handed her the robe and then turned around. "I also ordered us some dinner."

"Thanks Frasier," she called out to him.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Feeling better?" Frasier asked as Roz came into the kitchen after her shower. She had switched into some lounge clothes and was wearing the robe Fraiser had given her. Her hair had been pulled back into a pony-tail. Meanwhile Fraiser had removed his suit jacket and taken off his tie, leaving him wearing his suit pants and a grey dress shirt, which he had rolled up the sleeves. Pouring wine into two glasses, he handed one to her.

"Yes, thank you," Roz took a sip of the wine and nodded her head in approval. "Nice to get all of that airport and plane grime off."

"Dinner should be here shortly, I ordered Chinese food." he led her out of the kitchen and into the living room. The table in front of his couch was set for two, he placed the bottle of wine on the table and motion her to join him.

"It really is a nice place you have here Frasier." she told him as she looked around.

"We have enough time for a tour. You have already seen the master bathroom, kitchen, living room. So why don't I show you where you will be staying."

"I already found the room and put my stuff inside, also found the master bedroom and your study," she informed him. "I was trying to find your secret wine cellar."

"It's behind the bookcase," he told her matter of factly.

"Seriously!?"

"Go check it out, pull on the book labeled craft beer," he told her as he leaned back against the couch. Roz raised an eyebrow to his suggestion before setting her glass down and walking towards the study. Frasier placed his glass down with a grin following her.

Roz entered the study and walked over to the bookcase, locating the craft beer book. She pulled on it and a click was heard in the silent room, the bookcase moving forward slightly. Frasier came up behind her and pulled on the case, opening it completely revealing a small wine cellar built into the wall.

"That's why I moved in," he informed her as he hit the switch to light up the collection of wine.

"Now that's impressive!"

"It's one of my favorite things about the place. Niles was jealous when I told him about it. Spent a good week trying to convince Daphne to agree to have one installed.

"Guessing he doesn't have one?"

"Nope, but he keeps trying."

The sound of the door buzzer alerted them that dinner was ready. Fraiser switched the light off and then closed the bookcase. They walked out of the study and back towards the living room, while Frasier went to the front door. He opened the door and was greeted with a rather annoyed delivery boy.

"Crane?"

"Yes?"

"Your food," the kid handed him the bag of food and waited for a tip. Frasier paid him and closed the door. He headed back over to the living room and placed the bag of food on the table.

"I'm famished," Roz told him as she reached into the bag and pulled out the boxes of food. He joined her on the couch as he took one of the boxes.

"So what type of radio station are you helping out?" Frasier asked before taking a bite.

"All sports station that wants to move into more cultured areas," she informed him before taking another bite. "They want a whole opera/arts segment."

"Really?" Fraiser asked with enthusiasm.

"God no," Roz laughed at his expression before taking another bite of her food.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"He didn't!" Fraiser laughed as the fire crackled behind him and Roz. The raining was steady and would continue until the next afternoon. If the temperature had been lower, it would be snowing but he was thankful that is was only fall. He had switched into his silk pajamas after they had finished dinner and cleaned up everything. Now the two of them sat on the couch by the firelight.

"You know how hard it was to get the guy not to press charges against Noel?" Roz asked as she finished off her wine. "The actor now has a restraining order against him and has sworn he will never step foot inside the station again."

"Nice to know some things remain the same," Frasier replied as he took a sip of his sherry. "I've missed this."

"What?"

"Having someone to talk to in the evening."

"Feels like old times," Roz agreed with a smile. Checking her watching she noticed how late it was. "I should call it a night, I have an early meeting tomorrow or today actually."

"Yes, we should call it a night. I have some patients in the morning who don't like waiting," he got to his feet and offered his hand to help Roz up.

"Thanks for dinner Fras and, you know, for letting me stay here," she told him sincerely before bidding him good night.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he smiled and took the empty glasses to the kitchen, placing them in the sink before making his way toward his bedroom.

"Frasier, quick question," Roz said as he passed the guest room. He stopped and looked at her, waiting for her question. "The station was close to the hotel I was supposed to be staying at, is there any way-"

Frasier cut her off mid-sentence "-you can borrow my car?"

"You don't need it?"

"No, my office is close, I can just walk it,"

"In this weather?"

"I've walked in the rain before Roz."

"And complained about it by the time you got to the station."

"I never complained."

"Want me to count the times you complained? There was the first time which you also pissed off the entire population of Seattle-"

"Good night Roz." he said as he walked away.

"And then there was that other time-"

"Good night Roz!”

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Roz used the key Fraiser had lent her to unlocked the door to the apartment. Walking in, she listened to hear if Fraiser was home.

"Frasier?"

"Oh, Roz, there you are! How was your day," Frasier came out of the kitchen with a smile on his face and downright giddy about something.

"It was okay, what are you excited about?"

"A former patient of mine stopped by today and as a thank you for helping him with his issues he had offered me a rare bottle of wine. Remember when my doorman died, and I was left with a bottle of a 1945 Chateau Petrus?"

"No," Roz said as she placed her stuff down on the living room table, sinking into the couch.

"Well, the bottle turned out bad since as he did the unspeakable and left it next to the boiler," Frasier explained as he pour both of them a glass of wine.

"A cardinal sin," Roz responded as he brought over the glasses and joined her on the couch.

"It is! But thankfully there are still a few bottles in existence and this patient grandmother had a bottle which she kept in the perfect spot. So he has offered me the bottle at a fair price and the only catch is I have to go and get it this weekend."

"And you want me to watch your place while you are gone?"

"No, you are going with me!"

"What?!"

"The grandmother lives in a nice small town a few hours out of the city. I thought we could make a weekend trip out of it! We can go get the bottle, do a little antique shopping and enjoy the atmosphere of a rustic town."

"Fraiser, I don't know." Roz was reluctant, antique shopping was much more of a Frasier thing.

"I already booked us in separate rooms at this nice little bed and breakfast and I looked online and found a wine vineyard that does tasting," he unlocked his iPad and clicked the app to open the internet.

Well wine did sound pretty good, but she was still reluctant, "Frasier, as much fun as that sounds…"

"There is also a beer garden that I thought you would enjoy," he interrupted her as he showed her the online brochure.

"Now, why didn't you start out with that?" She asked as she took the iPad from him and looked at the what the beer garden offered.

"So you will go?"

"We are doing the twelve different beer tasting,"she replied as she gave him a sly smile.

"I'll take that as a yes," he looked over to what she was pointing out to him on the iPad.

To Be Continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still have no rights to the show or characters.

A/N: Thank you to my friend Jennifer for her help writing this chapter and to Amber for all her work on editing.

"What?! Frasier was given another 1945 Chateau Petrus?!" Niles interrupted Roz in outrage, abruptly rising from his chair. "It's one of the rarest bottles and he has found two of them!?"

"Niles!" Daphne hissed.

"What?" He asked as he looked over to her. She gave a him a look that screamed 'pay attention.' "Sorry, you were saying Roz?"

"Before I continue is it possible to get some water?" Roz asked from where she was sitting.

"Of course! Niles can you get the water?" Daphne asked, Niles nodded and went over to the kitchen to retrieve the bottles of water. "Sorry, you know how he and Frasier are about wine."

"Frasier spoke non-stop for three hours in the car about it," Roz told her and they both shared a laugh. "There was absolutely no way to escape that conversation."

"Poor you, I can't even imagine. What did you even do?"

"Let's say I had a lot of time to come up with ways to help the station in Chicago," Roz told her as Niles returned with three bottles of mineral water. He passed them out and took his seat again.

"Please Roz continue," he told her as he twisted the cap off his water bottle.

Roz sighed before starting where she'd left off before she'd been interrupted by Niles and the bottle of wine that she was beginning to loath. "Well we left Friday morning and drove out of the city…"

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Are you sure you know where we are going?" Roz asked again. Being stuck in the car for hours with nothing but corn fields on either side of the highway was far from entertaining.

"Of course I am," Frasier replied, sounding a little annoyed himself. "I have an electronic guidance device and its never wrong."

"If you hadn't taken that detour to avoid traffic, we wouldn't be on this never-ending highway!" Roz reminded him.

"I wasn't going to spend three hours in traffic!"

"So instead you took a detour you had no idea about!"

Frasier was indignant, "The navigator said we will be there soon. Oh...look we are getting off the highway! We must be close!"

Roz didn't look impressed as Frasier made the turn. The new road didn't look any better. "I've seen this scene in a movie, this is where the main characters get abducted by aliens," as the highway turned into an unpaved road with corn fields closing in.

"We are not going to be abducted!"

"Remind me to say I told you so when we are being probed!"

"Look!" Frasier said pointing at the screen, "The map is indicating for us to keep going-"

"When legally able to make a u-turn," the navigator annoucend, as if mocking the driver.

Roz scoffed, "That indicates we are officially lost, Frasier!"

But Frasier was not one to admit defeat so easily, "It's just confused, it will recalibrate."

"There is only one confusion here and it is you!" The navigator announced again to make a u-turn, interrupting their little argument.

"I can't make a u-turn! There are only corn fields around us!" He screamed at the navigator uselessly.

"I'll just retype the address in," Roz told him as she reached over.

"No! You'll only mess it up."

"I think I can handle pushing a few buttons," Roz replied, ignoring Frasier's indignation. She started fiddling with the screen, trying to get back to the address bar but the bumpy road wasn't making it easy to work the damned thing. She pushed another button hoping she could get some progress but suddenly the screen changed entirely. "Uh oh."

"What do you mean 'uh oh'?"

The navigator began speaking again, but this time it was in an entirely different language. Frasier looked at the device askance. "You put it in Chinese!"

"I know I'm sorry, we hit a bump and my finger hit something and I have no idea what!"

"Well stop hitting buttons, you're only making it worse!" Frasier shouted, "Stop touching it, I'll fix it myself." Frasier looked away from the road so he could start pressing buttons. "One of these buttons has to change the language."

Now it was his turn to start pressing buttons randomly with equally disastrous results when the screen suddenly went off entirely. "No! I need it back! Turn back on!"

"Frasier!"

"No, I will fix this!"

"Frasier!"

"Not now, Roz!"

"FRASIER! COW!"

Frasier finally looked up from the road to see that there was now a rather large black and white cow standing in the middle of the road. He didn't have time to break, it was far too close, instead he swerved left to avoid hitting the bovine. Unfortunately, that was the wrong choice as on the left of the cow was a rather large wooden sign that read. "Welcome to Sweet Corn, Illinois, the Creamed Corn Capital of the World!"

The car plowed directly into the sign. The creamed corn capital of the world sign was now in splinters of wood. The giant painted smiling corn mascot splayed against Frasier's windshield, smiling at him in a cartoonish mock of what just occurred.

There was nothing but silence, the sound of creaking metal and steam rising from the engine of the car. Only one other sound above it all,

"Mooooooooo!"

Frasier looked away from the giant cartoon corn and turned to his companion. "Are you okay?" Frasier asked, concerned about Roz.

"I'm fine," Roz said, "I've got a headache from hitting my head on the headrest and probably have a bruise from the seat belt but nothing permanent." Then she reached over and smacked Frasier's arm as hard as she could.

"What was that for?!"

"You almost hit a cow and then nearly totaled the car!"

"The cow was sitting in the road!"

"You should have been watching the road!"

"I was trying to fix the navigational device that you so aptly messed up!"

"Well if it wasn't for you and your stupid bottle of wine, we wouldn't be stuck in the middle of creamed corn land with nothing but a cow for company!"

They were still arguing when the sound of a siren interrupted them. An old police car parked on the road beside them. Out stepped a plump balding officer in full uniform who slowly swaggered towards them. He sidled on up to Frasier's side of the car where Frasier dutifully lowered the window. "Hello officer, we've seemed to run into a bit of trouble," Frasier said with fake cheer, trying to be his charming self in a very bad situation.

"You sure are in a lick of trouble," The officer said, the name on his breast read Clearly. "I caught you going down this here road at 57 miles per hour, speed limit is 30 here in Sweet Corn outside of town, inside its 15."

"I'm very sorry officer, I did not see any sign," Frasier explained, "this is all just an unfortunate accident."

"Is that right? You didn't see any sign?", the officer took a look at the cartoon wood plank on the windshield and then at Frasier with a raised eyebrow.

"You have to understand officer, I swerved to avoid a cow." Frasier said, nodding towards the large animal that was still happily standing in the middle of the road without a care in the world.

"So let me get this right," Officer Clearly said, "You were speeding 27 miles over the limit and almost hit Moodonna?"

"Moodonna?" Roz repeated with disbelief.

"That's right ma'am. Moodonna is the official cow of Sweet Corn. A prize ribbon winning cow she is, and beloved by everyone here in our town."

"Well of course she is," Frasier agreed, "she is a remarkable creature, quite beautiful." The cow responded by defecating in the road. "You can see why it was so important to avoid hitting such a lovely animal."

"It is a good thing you didn't hit Moodonna," Officer Clearly agreed, "unfortunately you did hit the Sweet Corn sign, you didn't see, that has stood for 85 years. Every year our local children repaint it themselves."

Frasier and Roz looked at each other, sharing a look of dismay. They knew they were in deep trouble now.

"Well of course I will pay for the damage," Frasier said quickly, still trying to smooth things over.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Of course not!"

"Well I'm trying to see how someone speeds down a road 27 miles over the speed limit, almost hits a beloved cow and destroys a historic sign."

Frasier tried to stay calm. "Well officer, we are trying to find an address of an acquaintance of mine. She has an extremely rare bottle of wine I would like to purchase. We got a little lost and were trying to get this digital navigation system to work. Regrettably I took my eyes off the road and did not see…Moodonna," He said the name with barely concealed disdain, "until it was almost too late. I swerved and hit the sign." He chuckled now. "As you can see it is all just a series of very unfortunate events."

Officer Clearly nodded but he didn't look amused in the slightest. "Step out of the car."

"But officer!"

"Out of the car now."

"Don't you think this is a little extreme," Frasier said, still trying to stop this determined officer.

"Honestly, sir, it was an accident," Roz agreed, now trying to come to Frasier's rescue.

"I'll get to you in a minute," Officer Clearly said, turning his attention back to Frasier. "Out of the car, now or I'll use force."

Frasier turned off the car and dutifully undid his seatbelt and got out of the car, still in shock and a bit of fear. "This really is just a big misunderstanding."

"You were driving recklessly down a residential road distracted, which is against the law. You nearly hit a beloved town pet and destroyed a historic town sign. Did I 'misunderstand' anything?"

Frasier didn't know what to say, except shake his head. "No, sir."

"Now we will sort this all out tomorrow morning at the town courthouse."

"Tomorrow!"

"Yes sir, you can explain everything to my brother-in-law."

"Your brother-in-law?!"

Clearly nodded. "Yes, he's the town judge."

"Your brother-in-law is the town judge," Frasier repeated, still not convinced he wasn't trapped in some Mayberry look alike hell.

"Yes, and he's going to be mighty interested in what you have to say," Clearly explained, "this here is his property."

Frasier shook his head as he was led to the officer's car. "I'm doomed," he said in a shrill anguished cry as he got into the backseat of the old dusty police car.

Clearly shut the door to the back seat of the police car with Frasier inside. Now he walked back over to the passenger side of the car, he opened the door to find a shocked Roz who was just as surprised by this turn of events as Frasier. "Now Ma'am, you don't want to cause me any more trouble, do you?"

"No," Roz said, stepping out of the car and walked over with Clearly to his police car. She took a seat next to Frasier in the back of the car. She glared at Frasier. "Are you happy now? You've got us trapped in the middle of nowhere in redneck central with the officer from Smokey and the Bandit whose brother-in-law is going to throw the book at us."

Frasier didn't look at her, just stared out the window forlornly at the cow that was the source of their trouble. "If we get out of this, I'm going to have filet mignon a la Moodonna."

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Is there any way we can see the judge today?" Frasier asked from the backseat as Clearly started the engine.

"No, he's on a finishing trip and won't be back until tomorrow for the town's corn festival," the officer explained as he drove into the small rural town. By the looks of it they were on the only Main Street for miles. There were several mom and pop stores lining up the street. All the stores advertised the corn festival and support for the local school team that were called the Huskers. They finally came to a stop at a small wooden courthouse house with a sign stating, "Sweet Corn Courthouse."

Officer Clearly turned the car off and got out, opening Frasier's door and motioned him to get out, Frasier complied. Clearly then motioned for Roz to come out, she did as she was advised and stood by Frasier as Clearly closed the car door.

"Follow me," Clearly told them as they walked towards the courthouse. Inside there was a receptionist's desk that was unoccupied, a door to the left that led to what Frasier could only assume was the courtroom, a few chairs, and a table. If it wasn't for the gavel on the table, he would have assumed it was a convention room. The door on the right led to the kitchen, the smell of burnt coffee filled the area.

"This way," Clearly told them as he led them down a hallway. There were only two rooms down the hallway. One that said storage and the other had a hand painted sign on the door that read Officer Clearly: Sweet Corn Head Officer. They walked into the room and were greeted with a desk, filing cabinets and a small cell with one bench."

Officer Clearly opened the cell, "In you go."

"You can't be serious!" Frasier said in disdain.

"This will be your accommodations for the night," he told them as he motioned them to enter.

"Is there anywhere else we can stay?" Roz asked.

"I wanna make sure you two don't go running off."

"How would we do that? My BMW is nearly totaled!" Frasier was at his wit's end. He was willing to write a check, pay for damages and anything else, "I refuse to spend a night in there!"

"Would you like to add 'failure to comply' to your criminal record?"

"Criminal record! The only thing I'm guilty of is speeding!"

"And running into the sign," Roz reminded him.

"Roz!" He snapped.

"It's your choice but I'll have you know the judge doesn't like it when people are uncooperative," Clearly told them. Roz sighed and walked into the small cell. Frasier glared at Clearly before walking in after Roz.

"I would like it to go on the record that you have put a prominent member of society in jail," Frasier declared as the cell door closed.

"And who would that be?" Officer Clearly asked as he went over to a box and pulled out a blanket and small pillow. He pushed them through the bars and into Roz's hands, she placed them on the bench.

"Dr. Frasier Crane!"

"Never heard of you."

"I'm a well-known psychiatrist!"

"I don't like psychiatrists! Always blaming the mother or father for all the problems." Clearly told him as he took a seat at his desk.

"Excuse me officer? Can I use the restroom?" Roz asked. Clearly glared at her before getting to his feet and walking over the cell.

"Let's hurry up, I want to fill out this paperwork before my supper time," he told her as he led her out of the room.

Frasier pulled off his jacket and threw it on the bench, checking his watch for the time. He had missed his chance to get the wine bottle. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, noticing there was no service he sighed in disbelief as he sat down on the bench and leaned back against the bars. Roz returned a few minutes later with Clearly, who opened the cell door and waited for her to walk in.

"Do you need to go?" He asked Frasier who shook his head no. Clearly closed the door just as a young man came in.

"Oh, Jake there you are."

"Someone took out the town sign!" Jake told him in shock, "Everyone is over there checking out the scene."

"I'll go clear the area, call Joe and have him tow the car to his shop and then get Ma to round up some food for our guests," he motioned to the cell where Frasier and Roz were.

"Are they responsible?"

"Yup, speeding, destruction of private property and they nearly killed Moodonna," Clearly told him before walking out of the room.

"You nearly killed Moodonna? What kind of criminals are you?" Jake asked shocked.

"We are not criminals!" Frasier got to his feet and walked over to the cell door, wrapping his hands around the bars he glared at Jake. "We were only speeding! I went to avoid that stupid cow and hit the damn sign!"

"Frasier!" Roz warned.

"I helped raise that cow, she means a lot to our town," Jake shook his head and left the room.

"That cow would make an excellent dinner for me!" Frasier screamed after him as he slammed the bars with his hands and walked back to the bench.

"I hate cows," he told Roz as he sat down.

"Cows are important to small rural towns. Heck, where I grew up, we had several cows that were blue ribbon winners," she told him as she joined him on the bench. "Are you okay?"

"No! We are stuck in this Mayberry town, my car is wrecked, and I lost out on a precious and rare bottle of wine!"

"I meant physically."

"Oh," Frasier said, coming back to reality a bit, "back hurts a little but I'll be fine. How is the headache?"

"Still there," Roz told him as she rubbed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. She leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees and rested her head in her hands. Frasier placed hand on her back and moved it slowly around in circles.

"I'll get all of this sorted out," he promised as they sat in silence.

"Do you have any cell service?" Frasier asked a few minutes later.

"Hmm," Roz searched her pockets as it dawned on her. "I left it in the car, sorry."

"It's okay, we don't have a clear signal to get a call through in any case. I have no service indicator on my phone," Frasier told her as she leaned back against the bars.

"Who would you call?"

"My lawyer."

"Frasier, our luggage is still in your car, which is probably being towed as we speak," she reminded him.

"When the officer returns, I'll ask him to retrieve our belongings or at least make sure they're locked up. My new luggage is probably worth more than this town," despite the situation the conversation felt normal to Roz.

"I highly doubt anyone in this town gives a damn about your luggage."

"But it was designed by this-"

"Some French dude that no one has heard of."

"He's Italian and people have heard of him!"

"Where the hell is he!" A woman's voice yelled from outside the room startling them both.

"Ma, he went to the scene," Jake told her as they both came into the room.

"Is this them?"

"Yes, those are the perpetrators."

"Let them out!"

"What?!"

"Jake, do they look like the violent type?" The one called Ma asked as she reached for the keys on the desk.

"Clearly wants them to stay here," Jake protested as she unlocked the jail cell door.

"If Darryl wants them, he can come get them at the restaurant, you got that?!" Ma glared at poor Jake who nodded.

"Thank you, madame," Frasier said as he got to his feet and grabbed his jacket. He and Roz followed Ma out of the room and out of the courthouse.

"Darryl is my brother, and God knows I love him, but that man needs to get a grip," she told them as they followed her towards a small café. "Putting people inside a cell for speeding is ridiculous! He's only pissed off about that sign."

"Sit where you like and I'll fetch some menus for you two," she told them as they entered the café. They took one of the further tables in the back as the diners watched them with disdain. News of what they had done had obviously made its way around town. Ma returned a few seconds with the menu and plopped them down on the table.

"Want something to drink?"

"I'll take a beer," Roz replied as Frasier gave her a questioning look as to her choice of drink. "After what we have been through, I'm in a need of a drink."

"You want a beer too?"

"No. What is the house wine?" Frasier asked.

"White Zinfandel," Ma told him with a smile. "We just opened a new box this afternoon!"

"I'll take a beer," Frasier replied disgusted as he picked up the menu and Ma walked away to fill their drink order.

"God, this menu is full of cheese! It's not even good cheese!" Frasier whispered to Roz in disgust.

"Just get a salad," she told him as she looked over the menu.

"I don't want a salad."

"Then get a burger."

"With American cheese? God, no!"

"Frasier, I recommend that you don't antagonize the rest of the town! Order something and eat it," she closed her menu as Ma returned with their drinks. She placed them down and then gave them a sweet smile.

"What will it be kids?"

"I'll take the cheeseburger with fries," Roz told her as she handed over the menu. Ma looked over to Frasier who sighed.

"Same."

"You want a side order of cream corn?"

"No!" Frasier growled, but Roz, trying to smooth over the situation agreed and Ma gave her a smile before walking away from them.

"Ma! How dare you let my prisoners out!" Clearly shouted as he came storming into the café obviously pissed off.

"They are not prisoners!"

"They broke the law!"

"Darryl! I refuse to allow this sweet couple to stay there! The room at my place will be perfect for them and I can keep an eye on them."

"Couple?" Roz mouthed to Frasier with a panicked look on her face.

"Excuse me," Frasier said as he got to his feet. "I must tell you that Roz and I are-"

"Would love to stay," Roz cut in as she got to her feet and wrapped an arm around him. "Wouldn't we honey?"

"Uhh," Frasier was at a loss for words as Roz kissed him on the check.

"Ma, those two are not a couple!"

"Like corn they ain't! Look how cute they are together!"

"They are not a couple!" Clearly screamed in annoyance. "They were arguing the entire time before they crashed their car!"

"You are correct about that Officer Clearly, Frasier and I had been arguing just like all couples do every once in a while. See we were on our way to get that bottle of wine and then have a little nice weekend getaway in the country. You see, Frasier here has been working many many hours and he needed a break," Roz said as she smiled up at Frasier.

"And I planned this wonderful trip for the two of us," Frasier continuing the charade, he wrapped an arm around her before leaning down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. The entire café awed at them as they broke apart.

"See Darryl! They will be with me if you need any more information," Ma told him as she shooed Clearly away.

"I know you two are lying and I'll catch you!" Clearly told them angrily before walking out of the café.

"He is really just a big teddy bear once you get to know him," Ma told them as they took their seats again. Ma smiled once more at them before heading to the kitchen.

"So now we are a couple?" Frasier whispered to her so no one else could hear.

"Unless you want to spend the night in that cell we are," Roz replied and took a sip of her beer.

"Whatever you say, darling," Frasier answered as he took a sip of his own beer. Frasier watched a man dressed in overalls with the name Joe printed on a patch.

"I wonder if he is the owner of the garage," Frasier nodded in the direction of where Joe was sitting. Roz looked and noticed the patch on the back of overalls said Joe's Garage. "I'm going to go and ask him if he can let me get our luggage."

"Hopefully he doesn't need permission from Clearly," Roz told him. It seemed Clearly was running this town to her and only Ma had more control. Frasier gave her a stern look before getting to his feet and walking over to Joe.

"Excuse me, are you the owner of Joe's Garage?"

"What's it to you?"

"Well, according to Officer Clearly, my car was towed to your garage."

"You own that foreign piece of shit?" Joe asked him.

Frasier was indignant, "My BMW is a fine piece of machinery!"

But Joe was far from impressed, "What's wrong with American made cars? Too good for those, are you?"

"I just want to get my luggage out of the car," Frasier said with effort to keep his voice at normal levels.

"The garage is closed for tonight, you will need Darryl to open the door," Joe informed as he signaled to Ma for a drink.

"You are referring to one Officer Clearly?"

"Yup."

"Why do I need his permission?"

"Because he owns the garage."

"Of course he does," Frasier shook his head in disbelief before walking back over to the table where Roz was and slumped down in his seat.

"So?"

"That sign killed us, and we are in hell," Frasier told her as Ma arrived at their table with the food. Frasier looked at the greasy fries and burger dripping with cheese and God only knows what else. "Definitely hell."

To Be Continued.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Still have no rights to the show or characters.

A/N: Thank you once again to Amber and Jennifer for their help.

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Apparently, Ma owned the Sweet Corn Bed and Breakfast as the sign in front of the house said. It was a house that could only be referred to as charming with a big front porch and green shutters on the window. The feisty woman led them inside, as sweet as pie now that she was with her guests.

"Let me show you to your room," she told them. But they had a chance to look around the downstairs.

It was the stuff of nightmarese for Frasier, old outdated dusty furniture with porcelain knickknacks of various religious meanings all over every spare surface. Cross-stitch patterns hung on the wall bearing feel-good messages like "Home is where you rest your head" and "Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful". He was genuinely frightened to see the room this woman had waiting for them.

He was right to be concerned.

The room was covered in corn. The wallpaper had corn cobs and corn stalks on it, the bed spread had corn dotted over it, the pictures on the wall were of cornfields, the eight throw pillows on the bed were of corn, had corn on them or were embroidered with "I love corn". It was a plethora of corn.

"Wow," Roz said, taking a step back. "That's a lot of corn."

"We do love our corn here in Sweet Corn," Ma said, "it's the pride and joy of our little town."

"It certainly reflects," Frasier replied politely but was still gawking at the corn that was on every single surface. He had no idea there was so much merchandise for corn!

"The powder room is at the end of the hallway and towels are in the linen closet so you can freshen up. No showers after seven pm, we like to save water here. There is only one tv and it's downstairs, no cable but it does have the weather channel. Breakfast is served at six am and I expect all my guests to attend," Ma lowered her voice. "The walls are paper thin and I have excellent hearing so I don't want to hear any hanky panky going on, do you understand?" Her eyes settled on Frasier as she spoke the final words.

"You have my word that nothing will happen while we are here," Frasier promised.

"Nothing had better or else you two are on the streets," she glanced at both them making sure they understood. "If there is nothing more then I'll leave you two to get settled."

"Uh, our luggage is still in our car, which was towed to Joe's garage," Roz explained.

"Let me call Darryl and have him opened the garage for you," she told them with a smile as she walked down the hallway and down the stairs.

"Who the hell decorates a room like this?!" Frasier asked as he sat down on the bed which gave a loud squeak under him.

"Have you seen the clock?" Roz asked as she looked at the window. Frasier eyes drifted to the clock on the side table next to the bed. It was a cow with digital numbers across its body, the tail moved back and forth rhythmically.

"Dear God! It looks like Moodonna!" Fraiser groaned in agony as he dropped his head into his hands. "This can't possibly get worse"

They heard the unmistakable sound of feet on the stairs and then coming down the hallway, Ma came in with a smile on her face

"Darryl will be over shorty to take one of you to the garage, I'll be putting the kettle on if you lovelies would like some tea to drink."

"I'm good, thank you," Roz let her know and Frasier shook his head no in response as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll go to the garage to get our luggage."

"Roz, I can do that," Frasier replied as he got to his feet.

"Oh, honey that's nice of you but Officer Clearly isn't very fond of you," she told him with a smile that was so unlike Roz.

"Whatever you say dear," he smirked as her eyes glared at him before following Ma out of the room. Frasier sat back down and fell backwards on the bed. It sank in the middle and squeaked again under his weight. Sighing he look up at the ceiling where glow in the dark corn husks were scattered across the room.

"I'm never eating corn again," he whispered to himself.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"What the hell do you have in your luggage, Fraiser?" Roz demanded as she came in the room and dropped the luggage near his feet.

"Huh?" Fraiser asked startled.

"Were you sleeping?"

"No!"

"Yes, you were."

"I was merely resting my eyes."

"You were snoring!"

"I do not snore!"

"Sure, you don't, Frasier," Roz told him as she placed her luggage on the bed. "I got my phone but it's dead and I couldn't find your charger."

"I didn't bring my phone charger."

"What?!"

"I assumed you were bringing yours, and we have the same charger, so why would I bring mine!" Fraiser rose to his feet and tossed his own luggage on the bed.

"So you could charge your phone!"

"I needed luggage space for the wine."

"Frasier! The damn charger could have fit in your pocket!"

"Well, what's your excuse?"

"Mine works iffy at best! So I left it at your place so I wouldn't wreck it anymore!"

"That's the most ridiculous-"

"Is there a problem kids?" Ma asked as she knocked on the closed door. Frasier went over to the door and opened it.

"No, we are just having a little disagreement," Frasier told her. "But since you are here do you know of a store that would have a charger for our phones?"

"Well, we only have a general store here and I'm not sure what chargers they have. There are a few stores about an hour outside of town that would have them. Not sure how you would get there since taxi companies don't come out this way. You could get someone to drive ya but the town is closed tomorrow," she told him as she placed her hand on her chin thinking.

"The town is closed?" Frasier asked confused.

"For the corn festival! Everyone attends the festival and helps out, so the town closes its shops to become more of a community. It's a lovely festival, we have music, food, shows, contests and awards. Moodonna will be the main attraction!"

"We are supposed to be meeting with the judge tomorrow," Roz told Ma a little worried.

"Johnny will make it fast," Ma said with a smile.

"At least someone is working tomorrow," Frasier said under his breath which Ma caught.

"Johnny has to open the festival so he won't waste time with your case, but Darryl will make sure he hears it since that sign was in Johnny's yard and all."

"Ah!" Frasier replied in understanding.

"Johnny is the King Corn this year, he's so excited to be crowned that he took his fishing trip early to be back for the festival."

"Guessing Johnny is an important person in this town," Roz said to Frasier.

"Oh, he is very important dear. He's not only the only judge in town but he's also our mayor," she smiled and bid them goodnight before closing the door.

"The judge is the mayor?" Roz asked after a beat.

"Welcome to Mayberry," Frasier replied as he unzipped his luggage.

"What about the bed situation?" Roz asked as she unzipped her own luggage.

"What about it?"

"Who gets the bed, Frasier?"

"You can have the bed," he told her as he shifted through his luggage looking for his silk pajamas.

"Are you sure? Because the floor looks iffy and that couch is extremely small," Roz began to explain before Fraiser waved his hand.

"I refuse to sleep in that bed, God only knows what the thread count is. There is no way I'm sleeping on the floor. I'll be fine on the couch," he answered as he headed towards the bedroom door. "I'm going to go shower."

"Mr. Crane," Ma said as Frasier came out of the bedroom.

"Actually it's Dr. Crane," he informed her softly.

"Okay, well Dr. Crane, if you are headed to the bathroom to take a shower the towels are in that closet before you reach the bathroom," she reminded him.

He nodded gratefully before walking down the hallway. Opening the closet he found all sorts of towels in various decay from years of use. Grabbing the best looking one, which just happened to have little roses printed all over it, he closed the door and headed towards the bathroom in hopes that a nice warm shower would wash away the days events.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Roz had already changed into some pajamas and had her robe on when Frasier reappeared fifteen minutes later with a scowl across his face. He grabbed his robe from the bed and threw it on, tying it closed.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she turned away from the window which she had been looking out of.

"That sad excuse for a shower!" He threw his towel across the small loveseat couch. "It only had temperatures of scorching hot or Arctic freeze. When I did finally manage to find a luke-warm temperature the water only dribbled out!"

Roz was trying to not laugh at his misery but after years of hearing about the best bath salts, shower sprays and everything in between to see him suffer a little was a nice change. "I'm sorry Frasier, it's an older house which means the pipes are probably even older."

"I just wanted a nice bed and breakfast, where I could sip a nice glass of sherry and enjoy having you as my company. Instead, we are stuck here in Cream Corn hell with no means of escape," he grumbled as he slumped down on the love seat that groaned with his weight.

"Well, it's no sherry but I do have this," Roz said as she showed him one of his bottles of wine.

"When did you get that?" He asked as he got to his feet and looked over the bottle. "How did you get my bottle of wine without me knowing!"

"Oh, I have my ways," she said as she waved the corkscrew in front of him. "Feel like opening it?"

"Oh, dear God yes!" He took the corkscrew from her. "You don't happen to have glasses?"

"Oh, I plan for all occasions," she produced two collapsible glasses from her luggage. He smiled and was just about to place the corkscrew into the cork when there was a knock on the door.

"Is everyone decent?" Ma's voiced drifted through the door. Roz and Frasier shared a look of amusement before Frasier gave Ma the okay to enter.

"I just wanted to bid you two good nig-," Ma stopped and looked at the bottle in Frazier's hand. "What are you doing with that?"

"We were just about to open it," he replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry but I don't allow any drinking in my house. I don't mind people drinking at the diner but her in my own home I can't allow it. Drinking leads to things that I don't approve of, you understand don't cha?"

"Of course we do," Frasier sighed and placed the unopened bottle on the bed.

"Well, good! I'll see you two tomorrow for breakfast!" She smiled warmly at them before closing the door.

"So much for that," Frasier threw the corkscrew on the bed.

"Screw that!" Roz grabbled both the bottle and corkscrew.

"Roz!"

"Frasier, if you keep your voice down then we can open this bottle," she told him quietly as she twisted the corkscrew into the cork.

"And if she comes back?"

"We just drink the evidence," she said as she expertly pulled the cork out of the bottle. "Come on, Frasier! Live on the wild side for once," she waved the bottle in front of him.

"Give it here," he took the bottle as she smiled at him before turning around to get the glasses.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

"I'm drinking one the world's finest wines out of a plastic glass," Frasier remarked as he leaned back against the couch. They were sitting next to each other on the loveseat, sharing the bottle of wine that Roz had nicked from Frasier's place.

"You could not be drinking anything," Roz told him as she refilled his glass with the remaining liquid from the bottle.

"Quite true. No, this was needed, very much after today."

"The meeting with the judge tomorrow will go by fast," Roz took a sip of her glass before continuing "as long as you behave yourself."

"What are you implying?" He asked as he lifted his head up and looked at her.

"Frasier, you tend to make the situation worse in these types of cases."

"I do not!"

"Just promise you will keep your opinions and thoughts to yourself!"

"I refuse to back down, we didn't do anything wrong and Officer Clearly knows that!" Frasier raised his voice a little but kept it at a whisper, Roz raised her hands in defeat.

"We should hide the evidence," Roz whispered to Frasier as she drained her glass of the last sip of wine. Frasier nodded his head and handed her his own empty glass.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"I'm not putting dirty glasses with my cleaned clothes," he told her as he leaned back against the couch. She rolled her eyes as she got to her feet, grabbing the empty bottle and stashed both the bottle and glasses under the bed.

"You think she won't look there?"

"I'll move them out in the morning before our meeting with the judge," she replied as she pulled a pillow off the bed and tossed it in his direction. He fumbled with it as it fell to the ground, picking it up he placed it on the side of the couch and then got to his feet.

"Hopefully the judge is more sympathetic than Clearly," he whispered to her as he grabbed the throw blanket off the end of the bed.

"We will find out tomorrow," Roz told him as she crawled into bed. "Are you sure you are okay with the couch?"

"It will do," he replied as he got settled on the couch, Roz switched the side table light off, covering them in darkness with only the moon giving them light. He shifted around the small couch, trying to find a comfortable position, but nothing was working.

"Frasier," Roz whispered from her position on the bed. "Why don't you just sleep here."

"I'm fine, Roz."

"Frasier, just get into the damn bed."

Fraiser ignored her and tried once again to get comfortable on the loveseat couch. Unfortunately, he was just too tall for the piece of furniture. His feet kept sticking off and his head was at an uncomfortable angle on the arm. After ten minutes had passed, he threw the throw blanket off, grabbed the pillow and walked to the side of bed.

"You're in my side," he told her. Roz sighed loudly and moved to the other side of the bed, Fraiser pulled back the sheets on his side and got into the bed.

"Better?"

"It's better than the couch," he acknowledged in the moon-lit room. Fraiser shifted and pulled the bed sheet more to his side.

"Stop hogging the sheet," Roz told him as she pulled the sheet closer to her.

"How can I when you have the entire thing with you!" He pulled again on the sheet, this time it pulled Roz closer to him "Sorry," he mumbled as he let go of the sheet. She moved back over to her side of the bed and glared at him.

"It's fine, just stay on your side and don't hog the sheet," she told him as she turned over and faced away from him. "Goodnight Frasier."

"Goodnight Roz." Frasier listened to her breathing settle down into a normal sleeping pattern before closing his eyes and drifting off himself.

To Be Continued.


End file.
